Obama Nominates Black Conservative To Supreme Court

Taking friend and foe alike completely by surprise, the President announced this afternoon at a White House press conference that he was nominating D.C. Court of Appeals Judge Janice Rogers Brown to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court caused by the death of Judge Antonin Scalia.

“To replace a true Constitutional scholar with yet another stooge that will rubber-stamp any expansion of government I can dream up is unfair to at least half the US population so, dammit, I’m just not going to do it.” the President told a packed room of reporters.

“Judge Brown has, to my way of thinking, a quaint, even antiquated view that the Constitution actually has meaning and importance. Obviously she and I completely disagree on this, but her voice, her point of view, deserves to be heard on the Supreme Court, so today I nominate her to that position, and I expect a quick confirmation from my friends in the Senate.”

Concluding his remarks, the President refused to take any questions from reporters and instead, ran around the room yelling “February Fool’s Day! February Fool’s Day!” until Secret Service personnel wrestled him to the ground. He was later admitted to George Washington University Hospital for observation. No further details available.

 

 

 

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