Greenwich’s Wettest Drought II

Greenwich Gazette reporter, Wanda Round, seen leaving Aquarion World headquarters, Monroe, CT, earlier today.

Speaking to a gaggle of skeptical* reporters, a visibly irritated Marad Fogwogger,  Aquarion Water Company’s Vice-President insisted, “The drought will go on as long as I say it goes on!”. When pressed for more, he added that the public becomes “confused” when massive rainfalls appear to have no effect on the drought declaration.

Here is his full statement:

“This is too complicated to fully explain, but I will say that the whole thing can be attributed to global warming”, Mr. Fogwogger explained. “Warm air in the upper atmosphere causes warm rainfall, you see, and this warmer rain, well, it evaporates much more quickly. Yes, and it, um, warms the existing water in the reservoirs, so that water evaporates quicker, too! So, to sum up, the more rain we get, the lower the reservoirs drop, got it?”

 

 

*don’t you wish

7 thoughts on “Greenwich’s Wettest Drought II

    • A Non-Moose:
      You keep harping on this, but I’m tellin’ ya, the water is owned by Aquarion. I suppose it’s possible THEY are selling it somewhere, but to who? A town with more money than Greenwich? And besides, it’s been one of the wettest winters I can remember, so who out there doesn’t already have enough water?

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